The Star

My first entry since 2013 and in about 10 days time, we'll be crossing over to 2017.

2016 has been momentous to say the least. 

It's our first year or marriage, Jo and I.

Another milestone was for me to decide stepping out of full-time ministry with the church and get back into the working world. Tasted the world of sales and from henceforth am able to say it is really not my cup of tea. Then now finally settling into my current attachment with the State Sports Council - I guess God has a funny way of placing me where He sees fit.

Of course, this year's biggest highlight is none other than our soon to arrive little junior. Speaking of which, he is currently 37 weeks, termed to come out anytime now though estimated due date is on the 8th January 2017. Do pray for Jo, myself and baby to be safe and healthy. 

With so many adjustments and adapting to be done this year, needless to say I find myself struggling to find a firm footing in terms of direction and passion. Somewhat brings me back to the transitional period between uni life and moving into adulthood - the season of wrestling, unraveling, questioning and bargaining with God in regards to calling, passion and desire. 

How fitting it is for me to blog this down during the Christmas season which reminds us of the nativity story once again. The wise men and shepherd had to keep their eyes on the star in order to coordinate their way to meet baby Jesus. How we all need the Star in our lives to be our compass! This season I truly need the Lord to speak and direct or perhaps re-direct my passion, heart and essentially my calling again. 

The fact that we need to swallow is that life will always have transitional seasons. So as we celebrate Christmas, let's be joyfully reminded that life can throw at us all it has and what will keep us going is to be watchful of that shining Star. You may feel life your drifting aimlessly this season then my encouragement and note to self is to be like the wise men and shepherds - look at the Star. 

Blessed Christmas to all! 

P/S: Will try to blog a little more often. I think I need it.

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Effects

The decision and action we make today will affect the future course of our lives and the lives of others. Whether that repercussion is good or bad, only God will know. 

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Land of the Hornbill, Land of His people.

About 7 years ago, I embarked on my first cross-cultural mission trip through Fellowship of Evangelical Students (FES)'s STOMP (Students Together On Mission Partnership) into the interior of Sarawak, visiting and ministering to the Iban people. Ever since that experience, I believe God deposited in me a certain passion for this people group.

Ah, the beautiful land of Sarawak, Land of the Hornbill :)

Some may say that among other local tribes, the Iban are by far the most civilized in infrastructure and lifestyle. Moreover, over the years the gospel has penetrated into the Iban people and many have come to know the Lord. As such, some may hold to the belief that perhaps the Iban should not be the prime focus for evangelism and ministry as they've been reached and they are somewhat developed in their lifestyle. However, the more I made trips into the interiors of the Iban people, the more I'm convicted that they are still very much in need of evangelism and ministry as much as other unreached ethnic groups.

Upon arrival at Kuching Airport, we were transported to Lubok Antu, about 4 hours drive south east of Kuching.

Past by Pantu! The place where I first had my Iban mission trip 7 years ago!

"Lachau", Iban language for lizard, a small town for our rest stop.
Been here almost all of my Iban mission trip thus far.

I had the opportunity to once again revisit the Iban people sometime this month. Lubok Antu, located in the district of Sri Aman division, is a small town populated by the Iban people along with other local races. It was quite fascinating to me because even the chinese looked like Iban and spoke flawless Iban as well! My team and I spent 7 days within the area of Lubok Antu and visited in total 5 different "rumah panjai" (Iban longhouses).

We visited two longhouses, Rumah Panjai Ukom and Rumah Panjai Bara, which were accessible by land, approximately 20-30 minutes drive from our base. Many of the longhouses in Sarawak (not all) that are accessible by land are more developed as compared to those which are accessible by water. Both these longhouses are comparatively modernistic in nature. Unfortunately, we didn't had the chance to stay over at both these longhouses. We only spent an evening there sharing, encouraging and ministering the word to them.

Harvest Baptist Church, Lubok Antu.

Lubok Antu town, a small cozy town where everyone knows everyone. They don't even lock their car doors! 

One of the many pleasures of Sarawak. Sarawak Laksa... Personally, it's nicer than Penang Laksa :P

Ukom Longhouse. The Iban are a beautiful group of people. Conducting our first service.

My fellow brother praying for one of the "ibu"/aunty.

It was a joy to witnessed baptism of 12 fellow brothers and sisters! What more, baptism in a river, biblical sound! ;)

However, we also had the chance to stay overnight and spend good quality amount of time with three other longhouses which were accessible by boat. Our first longhouse, Rumah Panjai Menyiling, took us about 45 minutes by boat. The family who hosted us was really hospitable and lovely. Although the longhouse had about 30+ rooms, it was a sad sight to see that many of the rooms are vacant. It was devastating to hear that many families had already left the longhouse due to unresolved family dispute. There was a great burden for family reconciliation in this longhouse.

At the jetty waiting for our boat ride.

Behind me is actually a damp. So we were riding through a lake. Beautiful nonetheless. I enjoy boat rides during mission trips because it gives me time to reflect and really soak in the awesomeness of who He is. Just the mere sight of His creation around me overwhelms me!

Our first interior longhouse, Rumah Panjai Menyiling. 

A good assurance from God that sports truly is a powerful mediator. Every evening, the boys in this village
plays "sepak takraw". Got me thinking of buying my own "takraw" ball.

Amazed by His creation.

Our next stop the following day was Rumah Panjai Mengka, approximately 20 minutes boat ride from Menyiling. Mengka longhouse is quite exotic, traditional in its physical structure yet well decorated and maintained in the interior. Reason being, Mengka is one of the few longhouses in Lubok Antu that is a primary pit stop for tourist. There are organizations that bring tourists to visit Mengka on quite a regular basis. Unlike Menyiling, Mengka longhouse is filled with families. Although there isn't family dispute, there is still a certain division between the families due to religious denomination. When we held the night meeting there, not all the families in the longhouse joined us. Only a handful who were of our "denomination" attended. Again, disunity is a pitfall.

Another boat ride into our next longhouse.

Many of the Iban longhouses are located next to streams of water.

Mengka Longhouse is a beautifully maintained longhouse. Exotic and an eye-catcher to tourists.

This is what we call "berandau", Iban language. Equivalent to "fellowship" or in more youthful term, chilling out ;)

The following day we moved on to Rumah Panjai Spaya. Somewhat similar to Rumah Panjai Mengka, Spaya is also well maintained as it is also quite a hub for tourists to visit. One of the things that stood out in this longhouse is the leadership and caliber of the well respected head man. The headman, also known as "Tuai" in the Iban lingo, is involved in the development of the longhouses in that area and he is also involved politically in the development of the Iban people as well. Their longhouse uses micro-hydro to generate electric supply. It was encouraging to see many that the people in this longhouse were opened to come for ministry service. Many needed prayer of healing and blessing.

Spaya Longhouse

The use of micro-hydro to generate electric supply into longhouses is really a positive development for the Iban community. Many organizations are helping to "reinvent" cost-effective micro-hydro in hope of helping the Iban community. Praise God for that.

Another highlight of my trip there was to meet up with an old friend. He was my Iban "teacher" during my first mission trip in Sarawak (STOMP 2007!). We then had the opportunity to serve and go on a mission trip together in 2009. Although we only met for about 45 minutes or so, it was truly a blessing to me to just hear his passion for God. His humble and servitude spirit always stands out to me and it's something that I really look up to him for. Keep the passion burning, bro!

Joshua Pandong, my Iban teacher, and I at Kuching Airport catching up.

Looking back, God orchestrates many different experiences in our lives to make it a defining moment of who we are and will become. For me, friends like Joshua and the people in Fellowship of Evangelical Students (FES) really ingrained in me this passion for the Sarawakians'. Likewise, I do hope that in my many trips into the interior, God would orchestrate my life to be a defining moment to others through what I say, pray and do.

All glory to Him.

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Face Your Fear

Remember that old school classic brand "No Fear"? I remember liking that brand for its awesome tagline that goes "Face Your Fears, Live Your Dreams". Just uttering that phrase kinda gives you this extra boost of courage and "ooopmh" to push yourself further. 

So, I've been actively involved in sport climbing for the past 7 months or so and coming from one who is afraid of heights, 7 months isn't too bad of a stint. I recall the very first time I had to climb the wall at Belia, I couldn't even get past the fifth panel! 

The first time is always the scariest. You feel most vulnerable and insecure. Will the rope hold my weight? Is the harness strong enough? What if I fall? Fear storms in like a hurricane and cripples you. And I was reminded that it's really okay if I didn't make it all the way up the first time. 

We're designed and made uniquely different. Some can climb all the way up on their first try, some can climb perhaps three panels. Yet, the thing I learnt most out of the 7 months of climbing is the power of decision making and pushing yourself at your own pace. 

IF I would've given up climbing just because I couldn't complete the route on my first try or because I was afraid of heights, I would have never improved and push myself mentally to where I am today. Just yesterday I tried something I never thought I was able to do. I climbed from the back of the wall through the scaffolding, setup up from the back and then repelled myself down! To me, it was a significant moment. To me, it was a milestone as I finally did something I never thought I could :) 

So long as our feet are on the ground of this earth, fears reside amongst us. It's what we choose to do with those fears that will ultimately push us upward and downward. God created us in such a way that we ought to rely on Him. Mental strength is one thing, faith is something else. Faith defies the realities of our world. It puts wings on our back which no common eye can see. Faith gave David victory over Goliath and Moses to part the sea. Faith allows us to face our fears, and to see through His eyes, the dreams that He so desires us to live out and live in. 

Face your fears, Live HIS dreams.

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Let Go, Let God.

In the past weeks, a lot has been said and shared in church regarding letting go of past bitterness. We all desire to move on from our bitter past into a better future. Easier said than done.

This week has taken quite a toll on me emotionally and mentally. Just praying and processing through things of the past which I really need to learn to let go totally drained me. I know for a fact that there are things in my past - things said and unsaid, done and undone - that I've been carrying, thinking and have crystallized over the years into a ball of bitterness. I just never really dealt with them over the years, just shelved them somewhere out of sight and hopefully out of mind.    

I'm not perfect. 

That is the first thing I really need to learn to deal with if I am to let go of my past. I'm not perfect. It's not an excuse nor a reason, but a reality of who we are in our very humanistic form and the very reason why we need God who is perfect in every way; I need God. Every time I try to deal with my past bitterness, I can't help but to blame myself and put myself into a pothole of condemnation and self-pity. Hence, I quickly shelve those things into a corner without ever dealing with them really. 

I'm not perfect. Yes, I've made many crucial and perhaps to me, life changing mistakes in the past. I have my regrets. That's the reality of what has happened in my life and who I am. But God in His perfect being, carves us into His perfect plan even through the past mistakes we've made if only we learn to admit that we're not perfect and we need Him to make us right. We begin our walk from bitterness to a better today and tomorrow by first allowing Him to hold our hand and walk side by side together on that journey.  

Letting go is terribly difficult. Just as my Pastor preached, sometimes we don't even realize it but we end up taking pleasure in looking back at the bitterness of our past mistakes because of its sentiments to us. All those precious "what if" moments that we cling on to. I know it will not take over night for me to lay everything down. But it begins somewhere. Today, it begins with a posture of humility to say I'm not perfect but You are Lord. 

Help me, Lord, to let go and let You in.

It's so difficult but teach me and grant me a humble heart.

Amen.

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"Frontliners" or "Sideliners"?

“We are so utterly ordinary, so commonplace, while we profess 

to know a Power the Twentieth Century does not reckon with. 

But we are "harmless," and therefore unharmed. 

We are spiritual pacifists, non-militants, conscientious objectors 

in this battle-to-the-death with principalities and powers in high places. 

Meekness must be had for contact with men, but brass, outspoken 

boldness is required to take part in the comradeship of the Cross. 

We are "sideliners" -- coaching and criticizing the real wrestlers 

while content to sit by and leave the enemies of God unchallenged. 

The world cannot hate us, we are too much like its own. 

Oh that God would make us dangerous!”
- Jim Elliot -

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The Cell

The icy cold floor sent shivers through Zoe's feet, enough to cause a trembling effect on her body. Zoe took intermittent, steady breaths as she stared at the metal bars before her. The smell of the cold damp cell infused into her body reminded her of a familiar desolation she once knew. Once knew. Yet here she was, in that all too familiar room. 

Have I not been released out of this prison cell? 

She thought to herself as her hands reached out for the metal bars before her. She clenched the bars tightly. As hard as she fought to hold it back, tears began to roll down her cheek. 

Where are you when I need you now? And why am I in this cell again?

She screamed in the dark imprisonment of her thoughts. She felt the heat of her anger began to counter react to her body's shivery sensation. She shut her eyes tightly as floods of memories came crashing in. 

Zoe revisited that fateful day when that particular man walked into the prison cell, stretched out his hand in between those cold metal bars, called out to her by name and said these very words to her,

"Zoe, I know you and I love you. I know your loneliness and your pain. I want to rescue you. Would you accept my offer to save you? Come, come and feel the warmth of freedom".  

Zoe could not comprehend who this person was. 

Why would he want to save me out of this prison cell? He loves me? Really? Is there really such freedom? 

Yet the gentle sincere voice of that man moved her inner spirit. Zoe remembered how she inched step by step toward the metal bars that stood between her world and the world of that man. As she draw close enough, she slowly lifted her hand and reached out to feel the warmth of his hand. She touched his hands. The warmth of freedom broke the chains of her desolation and loneliness. Tears of joy burst forth as the darkness of that room was broken with the light of peace, love and freedom. 

Zoe opened her eyes as if jolted from a stupor. Slowly, the grip of her fingers on those metal bars dissipated in strength. Her fit of anger withered down. Then, something strange happened in that prison cell. 

From the corner of the room, a ray of sunlight beamed into the prison cell from a crack above the ceiling. Then Zoe saw a figure moved at the corner of the room. As the figure walked closer to the metal bar, it was then that Zoe realized who that figure was. Zoe's eyes were now enlightened to what was actually happening.

The figure was now stretching out her hands in silent desperation between the metal bars, which stood between the world of the dark prison cell and the world of light, simply to touch the warmth freedom of  Zoe's hands. 

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We often view our current reality of circumstances as "obstacles", "trials" and "testings", which I'm sure are true. However, we also often forget the fact that we are the ones who have tasted and experienced spiritual freedom that many have not. Allow me to challenge you today to look intently at your life and begin to realize that no matter what situation or circumstance that you may be confined to right now, you are the one who has been freed and you are the one who is now called to free others from their imprisonment. 

It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. 

Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be 

burdened again by a yoke of slavery. 

Galatians 5: 1

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Reunion

As we grow older, sincere and lasting friendships become more and more of a gem. Keeping the friendship fresh, real and lasting is never easy as we grow older and as we walk into different paths in life. Inevitably, the hustle and bustle of life gets in the way of relationships. Fortunately for me, I do have friends of such treasured gem. I see it as a privilege and a gift to have such people in my life. Last Christmas I made it a point to head home to catch up with family and friends, people who are dear to me. 

The first bunch is quite a unique bunch. I literally grew up with them from the days of wearing diapers up to this very point in time. The Batch of 85' (as in year 1985), that's what we call ourselves. We got to know each other through Sunday school as young as 3-4 years of age and look at us now, all grown up. Haha. I'm very very thankful for this group of people. These are people whom I know will go the long haul in our friendship, people who would keep me in check and accountable, people who would support me in what I do, people who I can be real to. To the 85's, we rock. Hahaha.

The 85's. 

The Lovely Brothers' unite!

I grew to love singing and music with this bunch. 

We even formed our very own "boyband". Haha.

University played a vital part in my life and so were the people I met there. The people I met at PKA (Persaudaraan Kristian Agape/Christian Fellowship) are very dear to me too. I'm glad that every year, this bunch actually makes the effort to organize a reunion, what we called Graduate Seniors Reunion, whereby we get away from our usual daily routine and meet over a day or two just to unwind together and to share lives!

We had a mini-Christmas reunion makan 

at one of our friend's (who already gotten married!) house! 

Twas' awesome!

We don't often get to meet up but when we do,

we cherish every moment of it.

Well, it's 2013. Let's pray that we would all continue to meet people that will impact us as much and likewise, we would in turn impact them as much. 

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High School & Beyond

High school is possibly one of the best years of our lives. It's where our belief system is shaped, experiences are made, friendships are forged. It's been 10 years now since I graduated from high school and looking back, I must say, I missed it much. Since I'm back in KL this Christmas season, I decided to take a walk down memory lane. Please allow me to take you on a tour to my beloved high school :)

The name of my school is Catholic High School, fondly known as CHS. This may surprise some of you a little, but it is a Chinese school. *SHOCKED*. Yes, I was educated in a chinese high school for 7 years (completed my form 6 there too!). Yet, I can't really converse in mandarin. It's a mystery even to me. Lol. My school is known for it's high academic achievements. In fact, they just came out front page on The Sun newspaper for their PMR achievement. Needless to say, I'm not one of the high achievers there, I merely "tumpang glamour". It wasn't easy keeping pace academically in a chinese school. Pressure's high to do well. It's in high school that I've vowed a lifetime rivalry against math. Haha. 

SMJK Katholik: 1998-2004

Chinese schools are generally quite rich. For that, I'm thankful. Haha. I was really blessed with relatively good facilities. We have a really nice huge indoor hall that would be great to use for floorball! Haha. It's during "perhimpunan" time that all kinds of nonsense happen. I have my fair share of fond memories in this hall. It's in this hall that I sang my first mandarin song - my school anthem lah. Hahaha. It's also in this hall that I first heard a Jay Chou song played over the speaker. Every other day though, we would gather at the opened air car park. Every day was an adventure in itself. 

Dewan Bro Philippe Wu. 

Blessed with great facilities.

The opened air car park where we would gather every other day before our classes started.

As it is with any other typical high school life, I had my own strings of "puppy love" experiences. I remember the first time I met my "high school sweetheart". I was walking down to the canteen area and there she was, in all her glory, standing at the corner with her friends, smiling. Haha. Please bear in mind, I was a teenager and I was young :P Recess time is really interesting. It's only like 25 minutes but a full-on exciting and chaotic 25 minutes. In my school (and I think this is a chinese school culture), they segregated the girls from the guys during recess time. So the girls canteen would be the one on the outside, while the guys would be the one on the inside, as if we're being caged in like prisoners. But boys being boys, whether we're caged in or not, we would still find our way to our "sweethearts". Hahaha.  

The girls canteen, where I first set my eyes on my high school sweetheart. Haha.

The guys' canteen. Why do we get caged in?? Pfffft.

At that point in time, I hated every bit of classroom time. It was boring, I was sleepy and everyone was speaking in mandarin. In retrospect, I must say, it's in those classroom time that characters' are shaped, knowledge expanded, craziness elevated. I recall trying to converse in mandarin with my classmates, but they would inadvertently reply me in BM! It's hilarious. Two chinese ending up speaking to one another in BM. Lol. 

This is my form 2 and form 4 classroom.

This is the view from where I used to sat.

The walkway where we would lined-up before entering class. 

It's in this classroom that I got yelled at for my atrocity for math. Since then, I've vowed a lifetime rivalry against Math. Grrrr. Math, how I loathe you. As boys, we would often spy outside our windows for girls. Whistling and calling names when they passed us by. Haha. Again, let me remind you, I was young. :P

Oh and if you must know, I was a prefect when I was in form 1 and 2. The only reason I became a prefect was the fact that I didn't want to wear short pants to school! You see, in my school, we had two sessions. The afternoon session (form 1 and 2) and the morning session (form 3 and above). The boys in the afternoon session are all required to wear short pants. Typical of a chinese school. So to save myself from the embarrassment of wearing short pants to school for two years, I decided to become a prefect because prefects are allowed to wear nice long white pants. Hahaha. Such noble reason. Lol. 

Like any other school, we had our own prefect room where we let loose. 

Being a prefect was quite a memorable journey. It was then that I became a well-known "banana" boy. Haha. I guess it was then that I had my first taste of leadership. The nice thing about being a prefect in CHS was that teachers gave us a lot of "power". We were given the authority to pull students out, rebuke them and even punish them appropriately. Teachers would only get involved if it's a serious issue. Other than that, it was entirely up to the prefectorial board to maintain the discipline and character of the students. I learnt a lot out of that.

This is a place where prefects would rebuke and punish students

who are behaving inappropriately. Only the

prefects are allowed to use this bridge. 

I don't really know why though. Haha.

Sports have always been a big part of my life. I was very active in football and athletics. Naturally being in a chinese school, not many people were fond of football. Most were drawn to either basketball, badminton or ping pong. Oh, and chess. Haha. I was one of the few minorities that really enjoyed a game of football. It was in this field that I scored my one and only half-line goal. Macam David Beckham. Never was able to do it again after that. Hahaha. It was also in this field that I almost got into a few fist fights because of anger while playing football. I was not a nice sportsperson on field when I was in high school. I was really bad-tempered, always wanting to win. I would yell at my friends for not passing the ball or for loosing the ball. Not a nice sight to watch really. But thank God, I'm not like that any longer :) We mature over time, hopefully. The only thing I tak puas about my school is the fact that the year I left school, they decided to erect a superbly nice indoor sports complex! GAH! Why never built it while I was in school lah....

Sports have always been an integral part of my life.

The newly built indoor sports complex. Ideal for floorball weiiii.

Can play a full size floorball match and the flooring is great too! :/

So, that's my beloved high school. I miss it much but I'm not here to say that I wish I could turn back time and relive those memories. I'm here merely to share a part of my life that has shaped me into who I am today. 

This post is dedicated especially to all my players/friends who have just recently graduated from high school and are in the process of moving into their next phase of life. I would just like to encourage each of you to remember the positive values and lessons you've learnt in your high school life (don't just remember your "puppy love affair" lah :p), it's those lessons that will carry you far. As you embark into the next phase of life, you will encounter many new experiences, both good and bad. You will need to make tougher and more crucial decisions in life. You will be given greater freedom and heavier responsibilities. 

My prayer for each of you is that as you walk on this journey, you will walk upright in success, integrity, humility and in compassion for others. Greater things are ahead :)

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Heights

I remember the first time I encountered my fear of heights. It was a youth trip to Taman Negara where we had to go on this canopy walk. Crazily high. I hated every step of it. Ever since then, I have had this loathe for heights. 

But as always, life just loves taking a hairpin turn on you. In the past couple of months, I've been actively venturing into climbing (wall climbing and bouldering). Boy, do I still hate the whole idea of heights. Haha. From ministry perspective, GSN is at it's infant stage of exploring climbing as a sport and ministry platform. I thank God for such opportunity to venture into. All glory to Him. 

This is the blue wall located at Kompleks Belia, Penang,
which is relatively easier to climb. 

Doesn't look that high, right?

Well, now it looks high! Haha.

It's possibly about 10 metres high. 

By my standard, it's high. Haha.

On a personal note, however, it has been a real battle for me to slowly conquer my fear of heights. Often, people like to make fun of my fear when they know about it. People often forget the crippling force of fear, whatever fear that may be, on a person. Make no mistake people. Fear does cripple one's faith. Let's learn not to don't discourage or fuel a person's fear, but let's learn to encourage and help them overcome such fear. After all, who wants to live in fear?

 I started off by learning to belay a climber. 

I didn't particularly enjoyed climbing at first but now,

I'm slowly getting the "hang" of it. Pun intended :P

Over time, I'm beginning to enjoy climbing. It's really quite cool! By the end of the climb, your heart is pumping real hard due to the sheer awareness of how high you are and your body is drenched with sweat as you're working every single body muscle. What a sport. To me, I like the idea of climbing simply because every time I climb, it reminds me how human I am. How I have my imperfections and fears and it's through each climb that I learn to overcome those imperfections and fears, bit by bit. Truth be told, I didn't manage to climb the entire length of the wall on my first attempt. I was crippled by fear the first time. But I kept at it. And yes, I manage to climb the entire length on my second attempt :)

Hard pumping, body sweating, mind boggling!

 It's the reminder of how human I am. Each climb

reminded me that I needed to have faith!

We even took some time out to climb at Camp5, 1 Utama! :)

Trying my hands on an artificial wall!

And got myself a new pair of climbing shoes! :)

The great Edmund Hillary once said, "It is not the mountain we conquer, but ourselves". So true. We don't overcome fear over night. For me, I didn't completely overcome fear just by climbing the entire length of the wall. It's a constant "battle". It's a progressive climb of self-improvement. At the end of the day, it's not the wall that I conquer, but the joy of knowing that when faith resides in my heart, fear gradually fades away.

Next target: To conquer the 16m wall at Camp5! So higggghhhh!

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