The Box

Jack tossed and turned in his bed. He buried his face into the softness of the pillow hoping to blackout the thoughts of his troubled heart and mind. Then he turned over and faced the ceiling, gasping for air.

His thoughts were still wide awake.

Jack got out of his bed, turned on the light and walked towards the shelf where the box was.
It stood steady and peaceful. As he opened the lid of the box, waves of memories came crashing against the shore of his unsettled mind. His fingers ran through several mementos until alas, he felt the smooth edges of the letter he was looking for.

Jack stared at it for a little while. The colour of the envelope has faded at its corner. Ever so gently, he pulled out the letter within and patiently unfolded it. He took a deep breath and began to read it.

Reading the letter felt as if time stood still. The past, the present and the future seemed to intertwined into one, spiralling him down into a warp of distant memories and afterthoughts. He felt his heart beat raced across a battle field of emotions and his eyes fighting against the tears of regrets.

Regrets.

Flipping through the pages of the letters did not right the wrongs neither did it change the past nor the future. It did nothing. Jack was empty. He was nothing.

Jack folded the letter and puts it back into the envelope. As he was about to cover the box with the lid, he noticed the photo of the person he once knew...

"I miss you," Jack whispered as he finally covers the box.

******************************************

There are things or people in life we hold on to very dearly.
When the threat of hurt comes hurling towards us
and in the process of protecting ourselves from that
- in another words, in the process of being selfish -
we think it wise to let go of those things,
causing hurts that would last a life time to the
things or people we presumably treasure with all our heart.

Sometimes, it's better to march forth towards the arrows of hurt as naked as we came,
as vulnerable as we can be and as selfless as love should be,
then to lose grip of the precious gems of our lives.

Retreat.

Retreating, reflecting and rejuvenating
in my very own fortress of solitude.

So, when you getting married ar?

I'm right at about where the question "So, when you getting married ar?" becomes a norm to me, especially at weddings and Chinese New Year gatherings. Last weekend, I was down in KL for a friend's wedding and that question came to me like endless ammunitions. The wedding was really nice. Loved how simple it was although both the bride and groom came from 'powerhouse' parentage... Haha.

Congrats to the newly weds! :)

I took the short time that I had to catch up with my friends back home. There's always a nice fuzzy feeling when I'm around people whom I grew up with since my Sunday school days. Although we're all practically adults now embarking on different paths, there's still always this 'unchanging' sense of childhood when we come together.

Wyzek & I.

I finally managed to catch up with the Captain. The 85s unanimously voted that he'd be the first to walk down the aisle... Hehe.

The lovely brothers reunited.

My absence back home in KL does make my time spent with this people a whole lot meaningful. Often, I wish I had longer time with them, but with all the time I have, I really do appreciate the little chats, the laughters, the jeers, the insults and of course, the love that we can share when we come together.

The 85's!
Love each of you to bits!

Blooming.

Last week, I had the opportunity to meet several young, energetic and passionate youths from a Christian organization known as 'Youth With A Mission' (YWAM). They are currently undergoing a 6 months Sports Discipleship Training School (Sports DTS), a programme under YWAM. Part of the course is to do sports mission work at certain countries. How awesome is that??!! I was blessed enough to have the chance to work with them.

The sports ministry of Gateway City Church, Gateway Sports Network (GSN), had the privilege of hosting this vibrant group, all from seven different nations - Canada, New Zealand, Australia, Egypt, America, Singapore and our very beloved, Malaysia! The feeling of having different people from different parts of the world with different background coming together as one and worshipping together to the one same God is indescribable!

I've come to believe that whoever steps into Penang Island has got to try out this sport... otherwise, their journey here to Penang would be equivalent to that of not tasting the famous Penang Char Kuey Teow or Penang Asam Laksa... Where can like thaaatttt... Must try wan ma... Correct? :P So yea, if you ever do come by Penang Island, make sure you try this sport out... Yeah, you know what I'm talkin' about. What else...

Floorball, baby!

The moment the YWAMers' came in contact with GSN, we did not waste any time as we shared with them the good news of floorball! ;) We brought them to floorball school on Thursday afternoon for a quick 'crash course'. We also shared with them a little background on floorball and the vision behind it. It was great to see how keen these young bunch were and gosh, they were good! But little did they know, floorball school was just a warm up.

The following day, we arranged another game of floorball for them... And this time, they were in for a little competition against our very own local youths!

Bukit Jambul School (BJ) vs. YWAMers!

Both teams just started playing floorball, in fact, it's the second time for both teams to be picking up a floorball stick! So if you view it as that, then the game should be balanced out... Should be larrr... Aih, but we forgotten to take into account that Godzilla tagline -

'Size does matter'.


The guy on the left is huge and he's only 20 years old!!!!!
How can that be???!!!!??
Alien I tell you... Alien!!!

I believe the YWAMers' had heaps of fun. For me, I'm glad I was able to hit two birds with one stone - I got to connect with both the YWAMers and also the BJ'ians. It was my second floorball session with the BJ'ians and I'm glad we're all slowly beginning to connect with one another. I'm excited for them as they begin their journey of pioneering their very own floorball club in their school. Could see that the students really enjoyed the company of the YWAMers!

Who won in the end?
I can't remember.
I think it was the locals.
Hahahaha.

If they weren't playing on court, they go nuts off court! ;)

It was sad that the YWAMers' could only be in Penang for a few days. The BJ'ians' wanted them to come again but oh well... All in God's timing I guess. The YWAMers' did leave a certain mark behind even though it was just for a few hours... No doubt they helped ignite the passion for floorball amongst the students.

GSN, YWAMers' and the BJ'ians!

Apart from floorball, GSN also took the opportunity to bring them for our running activity at Bukit Dumbar park. One of the strengths of the YWAMers' is street evangelism, thus, we gave them the opportunity to utilise it. It was really encouraging to see everyone taking the initiative to go up to somebody and strike up a conversation! Two of them even managed to get connected with a veteran group of runners. Awesome! I'm not sure if it's just an Asian thing but I always find that foreigners have it easy when it comes to talking to strangers. If a Malaysian goes up to some random guy or gal just for a chat, that person would probably just freak out or give you a 'You're-weird' look. Then again, it could well be a pre-conceived notion or plain old mental tak kuat.

GCC invited the YWAMers for prayer meeting and Sunday service too. It was truly a blessing to have so many of them with us! Most of them are between 19-21 years old, the oldest being 25 years of age. As young as they were, they possessed spiritual maturity and depth anchored by a firm relationship with Christ. It's good to know that young leaders are rising up in the sports arena.

Being around this bunch really helped me fan the flame in which God has sparked within me. Their presence, sharing and testimony gave me a certain assurance of what God is doing in the sports arena. It's always reassuring and good to know that there are people out there who runs alongside you, people who also believe that, as cliche as it may sound, there is more to it than just winning medals.

After spending 4 days with this bunch, it was time to say goodbye. It was really a bummer that they couldn't be with us a little longer. Looking back, I can only thank God for bringing and partnering GSN with YWAM. It doesn't matter how small we are, God can still use it for His glory.

As I was driving back home after sending the YWAMers off, I reflected about the whole experience and He gave me an insight that made me went "WOW". Relatively speaking, GSN is still at its infancy stage but yet it's jaw-droppingly amazing to see how God's favour is upon us because not only did He provided us with an organization to partner with... He gave us the opportunity to share and to partner with 7 different nations all within the span of 4 days! WOW! Andddddd... 7 is a perfect number. What more can you ask. ;)

Thanks, Dad. You're amazing when you work your magic! Although we may still be young, it's always good to know that we're blooming in You :)

P.S.: To the YWAMers, looking forward to be working with you people again!

Making God famous through sports!

I am pressing in step by step!

Time is something I'm really chasing for these days. I haven't had the time to pause for a second for the past week. It was really a tiring week but at the same time, an extremely fulfilling one. Odd as it may seem, I must admit I kinda love the feeling of being on the go.

My week started off with my church "Leaders' Prayer & Planning Retreat" up at Penang Hill. It was my first ever Leaders' retreat. I was never really involved in leadership position... well... at least not until now. To me, it was really an eye opener in many ways - organization, management and of course, spiritual. I just want to share some of the things I picked up from this retreat. Sharing is caring as they'd say... ;)

I am weak but I AM strong.
Call me a pessimist or simply a guy who lacks confidence, but all my life, I've always struggled with the issue of being confident. I mean seriously, Moses and I can be good friends man. Why? Possibly due to some past experiences in my school days, my mental tak kuat, or maybe, I'm just plain chicken. Either way, I know I am weak in many, MANY ways. At the leaders' retreat, this struggle intensified when I saw myself being put at the front line alongside people who were far more stable, experienced, grounded and capable. There I am, standing with these people... Noooooo pressure, eh?

"Me? At the front line? With these people?? Are you sure about this, Dad???"

............ Sweat..........

The facts are these -
I am new in this field.
I am inexperience.
I am flawed in more ways than one.
I am unstable.
I am lacking in knowledge.
To put it simply, I am weak.

Yet, in all these, I am reminded of the greater 'I AM'.

One of my favourite verses in the old testament is taken from Deuteronomy 33: 27 which says,

"The eternal God is your refuge, and underneath are the everlasting arms".

From a literature perspective, it's poetically beautiful. Simple yet precise. But that's besides the point. It's been a while since I last thought about this verse but at the place where we stayed during the retreat, I found this verse hung upon one of the walls there. What a timely reminder.

This is the God who brought the Israelites out of slavery.
This is the God that divided the Red sea.
This is the God that gave Joshua the authority to possess the land across Jordan.
This is the God that brought down the walls of Jericho.
This is the God that gave Nehemiah the vision to rebuild the walls of Jerusalem.
This God, this eternal God is the same God that has taken me underneath His everlasting arms and assures me that He will give me the strength to press in and press on.

What a relief to be given such an assurance!

I pray that I'll always be this guy who lacks in confidence, because in that, I am made humble... In that, I rely on Him and Him alone... And in that, my confidence will increase in Him and not in myself.

Thanks, Dad.

2 Corinthians 12: 9
"My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness".

P.R.E.S.S! (Pray Relentlessly Even though Super Sleepy!)
One of the things I thoroughly enjoyed during the retreat was our 3am prayer rally! It was awesome! All of us gathered together, after getting a few hours of sleep, at 3am, to worship and to pray right up until 6am! I've never prayed this long before but it was something spiritually satisfying. As believers, we need to continually P.R.E.S.S in and press on for God. Yes, even when we're sleepy and tired! It is in those times that we learn to rely on Him ;)

It was a real challenge for me physically cause' I had to go off for work that morning. So, right after the 3am prayer, I quickly took a 45 minutes power nap, then got up and change and then took the cable car down at 7am. Driving to work was a pain... I almost langgar the curb on the way! Thank God for His protection.

But this whole experience really empowered me. Prayer is the pillar of our relationship with God. Let's continue to P.R.E.S.S in!

Praying over Penang Island and the nation.

Step by step
Just two days ago, MTV was playing old school video clips and this song by New Kids on The Block came along... "Step by step... Uuuhhh Baby..."... Retro stuff man! Anyway... What I'm getting at is this...

God reveals things step by step.
He moulds us step by step.
He provides for us step by step.
He empowers us step by step.
And He walks with us step by step.

I have to constantly remind myself that God works in me step by step, day by day. As we were planning out for the coming year, certain things just blew our minds. Everything seem so... so... impossible. It was beyond us... hmm... Maybe the rest already biasa but for me, I was a little overwhelmed... Haha. Things seemed too small to make any impact, things seemed lacking in so many areas, things seemed ridiculously big for us to handle yet as we reflect on the Big Guy and how He works, everything somehow became possible... So long as we keep our eyes fixed Him. Even as I blog this down, I must tell you people that He has already shown me the first step He has taken for me, for us, to make Him famous through the events of the past week!

My friends asked me just now whether or not am I convicted of my 'calling'. I was a little taken aback and as I was driving back home, I thought about it more. Again, He reminded me to take it step by step and not be shaken by words of men but to cling on to His purpose and promises... Not sure why must be step by step... Can't it be 3 steps at a time? Am I thaaaat slow a learner? Truth is, I am scared. I don't deny it. Driving home and thinking about everything gave me cold sweat. But it's in times like this we go through the burning bush experience and I ain't gonna miss that.

Dad, give me the assurance that you are there every step of the way.

It's been almost 4 years now that I'm in Penang and people has been asking me when am I coming back to KL.

When?

I really don't know. I wish I knew but I don't.

All I know is this... I'm meant to be here for such a time like this.

But Moses said to God,
"Who am I, that I should go to Pharoah and bring the Israelites out of Egypt?"
And God said,
"I will be with you."

Exodus 3: 11-12

Going the 70's way.

I was reading a friend's blog who posted this article from another source.
Ah, how conveniently timely this article came about.

"During the 70s, responding to the full-time calling as a late teen (between 17-19 years old) was the "in-thing" among the churches I was associated with. Today, many denominations have shyed away from that model, prefering more matured people who holds at least a Bachelor's degree and have worked a number of years in the secular world. Theortically, it seems to be a good direction to go but in reality, how many young adults in their mid-twenties would be able to respond to full-time calling? Reason is very simple: most of them at this age would have gone into the workforce having a car loan to service. For those who are already hitched, they would also be making plans for their big day and possibly have a joint house mortgage to pay back. basing on the present low salary that most churches offer, no sane person in this age bracket would go full-time! Hence, we still need to challenge young people to view full-time ministry as a career path. Church leaders at the same time should draft out a proper career path for them which involves training in theology, management, leadership, etc and also financial remuneration.

I would also like to highlight an idea that I got while reading Fred Smith "Learning to Lead". How can a young pastor help an auto mechanic, a stock-exchange remiser or a sales executive? It's difficult for a young pastor to have the depth of the necessary understanding that can only be accumulated through years of knowledge and experience. But he can point people to the appropriate resources i.e. older in-house advisers esp. if they are elders of the church. In business, they have staff advisers, consultants and specialists that they can call upon to meet particular needs, why can't we apply the same principle in the church? The church board must stand behind their young pastor and groom him to lead the church. Of course he will make mistakes (plenty of them!) but the wise leader will stand with him."

(NECF Leadership Commission - Read the original text here.)

The Final Period

I was just thinking and it dawned upon me that it's been almost 4 years now since I first picked up a floorball stick.

4 years!
Gosh, how time flies!

Until today, friends back home are still wondering why in the world am I so hooked on to this unheard of sport. My answer is always the same when I face these sceptics,

"Aiya, you never try you never know... Once you try, I guarantee you sure jadi floorball-addict also...".

Nah, kao tim.

I remember the first time I started floorball, I was totally amazed and inspired by many the players in Penang (whom I still do of course :). That was probably the first key thing that really got me into the sport - to see players representing the Penang State and the National, how to not be inspired... Haha. That gave me an extra drive to my interest in floorball. But as I grew in the sport and in the team, I too evolved.

My first floorball major competition - UM Cup!

I recently watched a sport movie called "The Express" (click here to read movie review) about American football. Great movie with issues that I can relate to. Towards the end of the movie, the main character, Ernie Davis, says this;

"But football is just a game.
What matters is what you play for."

The Express.

It's true, isn't it?

Every now and then - when I have a crappy game, when I fail as a coach to impart values and knowledge to my players, when discouragement comes banging down my door, when harsh criticism becomes my best friend - I have to remind myself that floorball is just a game and then asks myself what exactly am I playing for. I'm not just talking about floorball per se, but more than that - life. Because that answer, whatever it may be to you, is the one thing that will keep you at the right track when you hit rock bottom or when you hit the peak of your career;
it keeps you growing while at the same time, keeps your feet grounded.

Floorball is great but life is greater.
And it's how you play your life out that counts when the final whistle is blown.

One main reason why I play floorball is because I want to emulate those players who first inspired me, people who's sheer presence itself brings much inspiration and encouragement (and again, I'm not just referring to the game of floorball, but also in terms of their life). Personally, I believe that that kind of presence is a gift from God. It is not something that you can earned by being the best around the court but something that's been given by the Creator, a 'talent' so to speak. I know I don't have much of that particular 'talent'. I probably won't be a great floorball player in Penang, or Malaysia for that matter, but even with the little that I have, the 1 talent that's been given to me, I sure do what to make use of it to the fullest.

In the movie, Ernie Davis became the first African American to win the Heisman Trophy, a prestiges award in the American football arena. However, he was later diagnosed with leukaemia and was never able to play professionally again. Eventually, he died at the age of only 23 (Sorry guys, gave away the ending... Hahaha).

23.
I'm 24 this year.

The thing about life is this - we will never know how much more of it is in front of us.
I may well be in my 1st period, 2nd or maybe even the final period of my life. Who's to say, eh?

What have I done so far?
Have I encouraged anyone in my team?
Have I inspired players around me?
Have I given my all for the team?

Often, people say life is too short, so we must live by the moment - Enjoy while we can.
I say life is too short, so we must live in His purpose - Make Him famous while we can.

I just hope that at the end of the final whistle, my coach will walk up to me, puts his hand around my shoulder and say to me,

"Son, you played well."

(Wah, check out the player's number... 14!
Haha.
My jersey number... Freaky stuff)

What's the time??

I don't usually take off my sports watch whenever I put them on. But last Thursday after playing a short game of floorball with my USM mates, I decided to take it off a little while.
And I can't find it since then.

:(

This simply means I'll need to save up for a new one. Craps.

Aduh, gotta ikat perut lagi.

*Stretch*Stretch*

The Sun will Rise.

We all go through some form of trials every single day, big or small, we face them nonetheless. However, (correct me if I'm wrong) there's always a time in our lives when a certain form of trial seemed to be the height of it all, the one that truly tests us in every sense of the word.
Such times are surging forth for some. Recently, a friend shared with me about the trying period in which she/him is going through.
Difficult times are ahead, times when the sun seemed to have shield its warmth from us and when night seemed to have gain a foothold in our lives.

But the assurance is this...

No matter how dark the night may be, at the end of it all, know that dawn will break forth and light will shine its beauty in its most glorious form.

It's like this;
We all know that the sun is always there. Even when night comes, the sun is still there just that we don't see it. Similarly, God is always there even when times of difficulties flood into our lives. God may be overshadowed by the circumstances around us but that doesn't mean He is not there.

Last week, my pastor shared about his experience one early morning in one of the mountain tops of Hawaii, standing there and waiting in the insanely breezy and cold weather just to see the morning sunrise. Nobody in the right mind would stand in a cold weather, what more on top of a mountain early in the morning to see the sunrise unless he is sure that the sun will rise, correct? I thought about it and something spoke out to me.

Many times, we stand at the mountain top when darkness is still looming above us and we fight this wickedly cold weather with all our might. We wait for the sun to arise from its sleep but nothing seems to happen, so what do we do?

We walk off.

Many will walk off the mountain top because the weather is too cold and some will say that's it's not worth the wait...
But only a few will remain there, waiting... believing... trusting that the sun will rise. And the moment the sun breaks the darkness of the sky, that's when the light of His grace embraces them, these few who remained in the cold weather. Are we those few?

During Jesus's final hours on the cross, darkness came over all the land. That was the pinnacle of His trial and yes, it almost seemed as if the sun had totally disappeared from the universe. But what happened on the Sabbath morning?

"After the Sabbath, at dawn on the first day of the week... "Do not be afraid, for I know that you are looking for Jesus, who was crucified. He is not here, he has risen.." (Matthew 28)

When the sun appears, something amazing is going to happen!

The simple fact of life is this - we will face difficult times. Period.
Big or small, that's besides the point. There will come a time when night will fall on us.
My encouragement to those who are facing the pitch black darkness of night right now in your own lives is this... remain in Him.
Because He knows, He sees, He hears, He reigns.

He reigns
(Gateway City Church Worship team)

Verse:
You see the fears of my heart,
You know my every need,
You know the pain to these tears,
You hear my every cry,

Pre-Chorus:
I run to You my Lord,
I’m desperate for Your touch,
Fall on my knees I pray,

Chorus:
I surrender my all to You,
I’m placing my trust in You,
You are my strength, my song and my salvation,
I lay it all down to You,
Giving all praise to You,
I’ll remain in my God
My God who reigns
Oh He reigns

Bridge:
Though night will fall on me,
I will trust in Him who sets me free,
The sun will rise up high,
The light of His grace embraces me

"Surely God is my salvation;
I will trust and not be afraid.
The LORD, the LORD, is my strength and my song;
he has become my salvation."
(Isaiah 12: 2)

Wow!

It's been a while....
It has, hasn't it?

The last time I posted an entry was August 9th! Definitely my longest spell away from blogging. I know I said I was going to post about my mission trip experience but I really haven't had the time to get it going. Hopefully by this week I'm free to do that...

A couple of interesting things happened in the course of my 'absence'. Some things made me smile, some made me frowned, some made me pull my hair in frustration... Yet in spite of all these, I realized that sometimes, we just need to seat back for a few seconds and say "Wow" to the One who provides all these different moments in life - happy moments, heart-breaking moments and hair-pullin' frustrating moments.

Life takes a different turn every once in a while.
More often than not, you'll meet sharp turns along the way. And of course, every once in a while, you'll be driving on a smoothly tarred road.
But how often do we stop our car, turn off the engine, recline in our seat, and say,
"Wow, You're simply awesome!"?

Not very often, is it?
Maybe it's about time you pull your car over. ;)