Revived

Last night I went for a global prayer meeting in EPCC, whereby various churches around Penang Island gathered together as a congregation to pray for the world and also for our very own country, Malaysia.
It was my first time attending this "bigger" scale prayer meeting.
I really didn't know what to expect and I didn't actually plan to go for it
(and again, everything happens for a purpose).

In the end, I went and I'm so thankful I did.

You see, the past week hasn't been the best for me.
I was messed up, inside out upside down.
Having attended the meeting last night, I believe God slapped me on my face real hard with numerous realization that I've not been able to see lately.
The prayer meeting upheld prayer items regarding the deteriorating state of our world and our country - the disaster, the war, the corruption, the pain - the reality of mankind's downfall.
The sins of the people are accumulating day by day as the end approaches.
With all the events that have been happening around the world, the recent earthquake that shook China, the corruption in our country, human trafficking, etc -
It woke me up to my senses.
There I was in my room on my bed, wallowing in my pitiful and miserable state of despair and disappointments, thinking my oh-so-very-tragic-experience was the worst amongst many others... Sheeeesh...

Mine was but a minute pathetic dot in a painting of bloodshed and disaster.

I knew what God was telling me last night.
It came loud and clear to me.

"Christopher Koh, yours is just a teeny weeny speck of dust... Why are you beating up yourself so badly for it? Wake up... Just look at what is happening around you. There are more significant things in the world to mourn about than just yourself."

The Man has spoken.

Indeed there were more important things to mourn about than just myself.
What was I thinking!
When that very sense of enlightenment dawned upon me, I chuckled at myself.

"Christopher Koh, you're a joke..." *roll eyes at Chris*

I've grieved and mourn for myself enough.
It was really time for me to stand up, brush the past off my shoulders and move on in Him.
As I knelt down on my knees last night amidst everyone else who were praying for our world and country aloud, I selfishly whispered to God for just one very thing I knew I needed the most right now -

"Help me Father to get my focus back on track... back on You..."

And how appropriately we sang,

"Spirit touch your church,
Stir the hearts of men,
Revive us Lord,
With Your passion once again..."

God revived my passion, my spirit and my focus last night.
And I knew that in spite of what has happened to me, I still want to care for others like Jesus cares for me.
At the end of the meeting, I felt a sense of liberation from the chains of disappointments.
I smiled to Him and said,

"You did it again... You pulled me out of the pit.... AGAIN"
*hi-5 to the Big Guy... (Oooooh - it ryhmes! hehe)*

I saw my purpose.
I accepted His ways.
I acknowledged His sovereignty.
I knew who my Father was and is.
And more importantly, I love Him...

more than ever before.