I am pressing in step by step!

Time is something I'm really chasing for these days. I haven't had the time to pause for a second for the past week. It was really a tiring week but at the same time, an extremely fulfilling one. Odd as it may seem, I must admit I kinda love the feeling of being on the go.

My week started off with my church "Leaders' Prayer & Planning Retreat" up at Penang Hill. It was my first ever Leaders' retreat. I was never really involved in leadership position... well... at least not until now. To me, it was really an eye opener in many ways - organization, management and of course, spiritual. I just want to share some of the things I picked up from this retreat. Sharing is caring as they'd say... ;)

I am weak but I AM strong.
Call me a pessimist or simply a guy who lacks confidence, but all my life, I've always struggled with the issue of being confident. I mean seriously, Moses and I can be good friends man. Why? Possibly due to some past experiences in my school days, my mental tak kuat, or maybe, I'm just plain chicken. Either way, I know I am weak in many, MANY ways. At the leaders' retreat, this struggle intensified when I saw myself being put at the front line alongside people who were far more stable, experienced, grounded and capable. There I am, standing with these people... Noooooo pressure, eh?

"Me? At the front line? With these people?? Are you sure about this, Dad???"

............ Sweat..........

The facts are these -
I am new in this field.
I am inexperience.
I am flawed in more ways than one.
I am unstable.
I am lacking in knowledge.
To put it simply, I am weak.

Yet, in all these, I am reminded of the greater 'I AM'.

One of my favourite verses in the old testament is taken from Deuteronomy 33: 27 which says,

"The eternal God is your refuge, and underneath are the everlasting arms".

From a literature perspective, it's poetically beautiful. Simple yet precise. But that's besides the point. It's been a while since I last thought about this verse but at the place where we stayed during the retreat, I found this verse hung upon one of the walls there. What a timely reminder.

This is the God who brought the Israelites out of slavery.
This is the God that divided the Red sea.
This is the God that gave Joshua the authority to possess the land across Jordan.
This is the God that brought down the walls of Jericho.
This is the God that gave Nehemiah the vision to rebuild the walls of Jerusalem.
This God, this eternal God is the same God that has taken me underneath His everlasting arms and assures me that He will give me the strength to press in and press on.

What a relief to be given such an assurance!

I pray that I'll always be this guy who lacks in confidence, because in that, I am made humble... In that, I rely on Him and Him alone... And in that, my confidence will increase in Him and not in myself.

Thanks, Dad.

2 Corinthians 12: 9
"My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness".

P.R.E.S.S! (Pray Relentlessly Even though Super Sleepy!)
One of the things I thoroughly enjoyed during the retreat was our 3am prayer rally! It was awesome! All of us gathered together, after getting a few hours of sleep, at 3am, to worship and to pray right up until 6am! I've never prayed this long before but it was something spiritually satisfying. As believers, we need to continually P.R.E.S.S in and press on for God. Yes, even when we're sleepy and tired! It is in those times that we learn to rely on Him ;)

It was a real challenge for me physically cause' I had to go off for work that morning. So, right after the 3am prayer, I quickly took a 45 minutes power nap, then got up and change and then took the cable car down at 7am. Driving to work was a pain... I almost langgar the curb on the way! Thank God for His protection.

But this whole experience really empowered me. Prayer is the pillar of our relationship with God. Let's continue to P.R.E.S.S in!

Praying over Penang Island and the nation.

Step by step
Just two days ago, MTV was playing old school video clips and this song by New Kids on The Block came along... "Step by step... Uuuhhh Baby..."... Retro stuff man! Anyway... What I'm getting at is this...

God reveals things step by step.
He moulds us step by step.
He provides for us step by step.
He empowers us step by step.
And He walks with us step by step.

I have to constantly remind myself that God works in me step by step, day by day. As we were planning out for the coming year, certain things just blew our minds. Everything seem so... so... impossible. It was beyond us... hmm... Maybe the rest already biasa but for me, I was a little overwhelmed... Haha. Things seemed too small to make any impact, things seemed lacking in so many areas, things seemed ridiculously big for us to handle yet as we reflect on the Big Guy and how He works, everything somehow became possible... So long as we keep our eyes fixed Him. Even as I blog this down, I must tell you people that He has already shown me the first step He has taken for me, for us, to make Him famous through the events of the past week!

My friends asked me just now whether or not am I convicted of my 'calling'. I was a little taken aback and as I was driving back home, I thought about it more. Again, He reminded me to take it step by step and not be shaken by words of men but to cling on to His purpose and promises... Not sure why must be step by step... Can't it be 3 steps at a time? Am I thaaaat slow a learner? Truth is, I am scared. I don't deny it. Driving home and thinking about everything gave me cold sweat. But it's in times like this we go through the burning bush experience and I ain't gonna miss that.

Dad, give me the assurance that you are there every step of the way.

It's been almost 4 years now that I'm in Penang and people has been asking me when am I coming back to KL.

When?

I really don't know. I wish I knew but I don't.

All I know is this... I'm meant to be here for such a time like this.

But Moses said to God,
"Who am I, that I should go to Pharoah and bring the Israelites out of Egypt?"
And God said,
"I will be with you."

Exodus 3: 11-12