C.O.N.S.I.S.T.E.N.C.Y

I had my Connect Group (CG) meeting last night, a weekly gathering that I'm slowly growing fond of - a small group of believers, coming together to connect with one another and to the One who connects us to Him -
We touched on this one very simple, but not-easy-to-do word:

C.O.N.S.I.S.T.E.N.C.Y.

A word we so often use, but can never seem to apply.
Interestingly enough, in my previous entry, I blogged about mental strength, an element I believe correlates to consistency.
To put it simply, consistency to me is the power to keep saying yes to something and no to another consciously.
The role of consistency is crucial when it comes to battling addiction, inculcating habits, hitting the gym, doing daily devotion, etc.
Consistency is what keeps us on the right track.
Mental strength is what pushes us further, to go that extra mile where most can't.

As a CG, we shared our struggles in keeping certain habits consistent in our lives.
I shared a few but deep down inside, I know there were more than just those few.
The irony about this whole thing is this;
I'm consistently not being consistent in several areas in my life.
Paradoxical, ain't it?

There was a point in my life in which I was struggling with having to juggle a double life
(No Bruce, not the super hero kinda double life).
It was a constant battle that I had between my conscience and my rationale.
I struggled to find my footing because due to my lack of consistency, I was loosing ground in my spiritual self.
Overtime I build this facade, one that looks good from the outside but inside, nothing but emptiness resides.
I can only thank God for picking me up and getting me out of that "dark" hole.

To say that I'm not living a double life now would be a lie.
It's a very bold statement to make, something which I still don't have the guts nor the right to proclaim for I know I've much to work on.
Having said that, I do believe I have gain a certain sense of integrity through the lessons of life I've learnt along the way.
The current book (by Beth Moore 'Daniel: Lives of Integrity, Words of Prophecy') that my CG is using place much emphasis on integrity.

"The lifeblood of integrity is becoming the same person no matter where we are - no matter who's around. When we become people of integrity, everything we are on the inside is obvious from the outside. The Latin word for "integrity" literally means "entire". The essence of the term is wholeness and completeness. Integrity is "the quality or state of being complete and undivided"

(Beth, M. 'Daniel: Lives of Integrity, Words of Prophecy')

I'll be frank - right now, I still change costumes.
There are things in my life I'm yet to resolve.
I'm clinging on to the hope of becoming the same person no matter where I am.
Coming to a place where people can look at me from the outside, and sees the me inside.
It all starts with a conscious decision of being consistent.
That in itself is a step which requires faith.

"You see, therefore, how much integrity depends on consistency;
Integrity not only calls us to live inside-out, it keeps the outside from coming in.
Consistency in our walk and in our talk becomes a transportable cloak of protection around us, going anywhere we go.
Life becomes so much simpler when there aren't so many costume changes."