It ain't easy...

All this time, I've always had this belief when it comes to uttering those 3 sacred words –

I love you.

Never say it unless you mean it.
I'd rather say "I like you" or "I admire you".
I mean, what’s the point saying it when you don’t truly mean it right?
End up hurting the recipient and yourself in the process.
If don’t know what to say, better just zip your mouth.

Last Sunday's sermon in church spoke something far deeper than these beliefs of mine,
a side of the coin I've not seen before.
To put into context, the sermon was on obedience taken from Genesis 22;
A passage from the Bible we've read a thousand times.

That morning in church, I felt a burden in my heart – a burden that has been weighing in me for some time now. As I stood during worship, I prayed earnestly to God that He would speak to me and show me a “sign”, to assure and to affirm me of what I should and must do.

And right there and then, God smacked me on the face with this topic on obedience, something that I know I needed to hear and take heed of.
You see, for the past couple of weeks or so, I've been struggling with this whole issue of obedience.
Primarily on the "execution" of it rather than the “knowing” of it.
I believe God has been speaking to me, in fact demanding me of obedience through that unmistakable still small voice which I must admit I have been selfishly brushing off.
It's easy knowing what God wants but never easy doing it.

So there I was listening to Pastor Victor Wong, who by the way is an awesome speaker, many things went through my mind. One of it was recalling telling people who are close to me how I would strive to put Him first and in that moment, I felt like a hypocrite because I know I haven’t been doing that. If I had, I would have obeyed Him. Then Pastor Victor asked the congregation a very interesting question –

"When was the last time our obedience was put to the test?"

Thinking about it, I knew mine wasn’t too long ago.
Worst still, I know I didn’t obey Him the last time.
So much for striving to put Him first, huh?

But I believe all these things were said to wake me up from my slumber, from my selfish apathy.

Pastor Victor pointed 3 main points through the scripture of Genesis 22.

1. Your obedience will be tested.
2. Obedience will not necessarily make sense to you.
3. Obedience will bring about blessings.

Above everything else, the one thing that I can remember in the sermon was this;
Pastor Victor said how can you say "I love you" to the person you supposedly "love" when you're in one hand disobeying God?
If you cannot even obey Him, it simply means you don't love Him enough and if you don't love Him enough, how can you then say "I love you" to your loved ones?
It struck a minor chord in me.
It was something solemn and yet at the same time, knowing that it was true.

Saying “I love you” is much more than just saying and meaning what you say.
It’s about saying it to the right person first – God.
Only then, do you earn the right to say “I love you” to others.

Obedience doesn’t come easy.
And more often than not, it doesn’t end easy as well.
People don’t see what you see about obedience, people don’t understand.
I know what I must do now.

Thank you, Father, for the assurance.