Silence
Tuesday, April 29, 2008
There was a strange quietness in Jack's mannerism.
He sat across them, sipping his coffee while reading his book intently or so it seemed.
Across him, Anne and Matt were conversing in delight over matters that were beyond Jack’s field.
They had each other, he had his book.
He read the book... dismantling his thoughts bit by bit.
He rarely gets angry, never curses (well, almost never), stays out of fight, takes criticism reasonably well and he loves fishing.
Jack was the epitome of patience.
Having said that, of course there were times when he did almost lose it.
In his quietness though, Jack knew he was losing it.
Matt cracked a joke.
Anne was laughing hysterically.
They were both in their own world that somehow shunned him out.
Jack noticed from the corner of his eyes yet he never moved an inch from neither his seat nor his book.
He continued reading.
Jack understood the mechanics of how it should be, how they should be.
He understood that by stepping into this new territory, there is an unsaid law that needs to be followed by both allies.
Failing to do so meant pernicious consequences.
Jack knew the borderline and he never crossed it.
He has always kept his distance.
He kept the code of conduct because he believed in it and he respected it.
Deep down inside, it was hard for him.
There were times he needed to reject others when he didn’t want too.
There were times he needed to say no when he wanted to say yes.
But above all these hardships, he was determined to do it because he knew his and understood his responsibilities.
The door swung opened.
Tim walked in the cafeteria.
As he approached the table, Jack once again caught a glimpse of what was happening.
Tim stopped at their table, greeted Anne and sat down beside her.
Jack noticed the slight attraction that wasn't meant to be conspicuous but somehow, he noticed.
Perhaps it was his jealousy that sprung up this instinctive awareness.
He continued reading with poise.
All he wanted was to feel special.
Sometimes he does and sometimes he doesn’t.
There were times when he felt extraordinary from the rest.
But there were also times when he felt normal, just like the rest.
Still, he could bear with all these.
What he couldn't bear, however, was how that sacred law that was suppose to be kept between them has been broken over and over again.
"Can't she see it? Why is she doing this to me?” Jack thought to himself.
He kept his distance.
"Hey, would you wanna catch a movie with me?” Tim asked.
"When?” Anne replied.
"Now... If you can't its fine you know".
"Yea... Sure... Sure! I'm pretty free".
Jack eavesdropped.
They were going out together.
In just few seconds, Jack could hear the door clanged against the metal door frame and before he knew it, they were gone.
He sat still and briefly looked around the cafeteria for once.
Then he continued reading the book at which point he was at the last page.
The last line in his book read,
"... in his silence, he lived and died a million times over".
